Playt #2: When the Leaves turn Blue

Once there were two girls. When the girls got bored they would lick each other's ears. They would lick and suck and nibble and caress and shit... but I'll talk about that later. One time one of the girls had rabies and she accidentally bit the other girl's ear. Her ear fell off and became a penny. The penny had a face that moved and talked. This face knew the future and the past, knew how life was created, and how it would end. The penny fell into the wrong hands, the hands of one named Playt. Playt would ask the penny stupid questions like, how many railroads are under the water. The penny would have no answer and would get one step closer to it's own destruction. The penny hated stupid questions, and would just ignore Playt. But Playt was relentless, he would just keep asking questions. "How many people enjoy throwing up into other people's mouths?", "Is there ever going to be a beginning of time?", "What's up with yuppies? Are they just purple, or what?". The penny got so pissed off that it turned into a quarter so that hopefully Playt would spend it, but the newly made quarter didn't know Playt. Playt doesn't know anything about money, he always asks random questions to inanimate objects, in fact, he asked his pillow one time if there was spit on the moon. Well one day, Playt got very curious, and he wanted to know about the amount of belts that were buried under his house. The quarter morphed into a monkey and told him to shut the fuck up, that he wasn't asking real questions, and that it could only answer questions about the past and future. Playt took the monkey by the tail and flushed it down the toilet for talkin smack.

That's my first bedtime story, read it to your kids. I think that one day I'll be able to write a book for children, one that will teach them all about those feisty polar bears. Until then, I'm just gonna settle for telling the world about my views on life and death. Like, where do you think a slug goes when it dies? And in fact, do slugs even die? I don't know, but I do know that slugs don't do any tricks. I used to have one, and it kept telling me that it wasn't a slug, that it was a watermelon, but I didn't listen to it, because I know deep down inside that neither slugs nor watermelons can actually say any words, especially not in English. But that's not the important thing, what I was really brought here to tell you was that little pieces of hair grow on your teeth if you eat too many dogs. Maybe that's just me though, I don't know about any of you all. But I do know, that I think I'm gonna stop eating for a little bit, I think I'm addicted to it or something. I mean, I eat everyday, and I always want to if I haven't in a while. When I don't eat, I start feigning for food. Maybe I need to go to some FEA meetings. Yea, there are Food Eaters Anonymous meetings, maybe you should check it out, you might need some help too.

Ok, now that I told you what I was supposed to, now I'm just going to ramble a little bit. Sittin on a face full of hedgehogs when there were only apricots under the snuff magazine was when CD covers were made of potatoes. Is your head hurting yet, because if not, then I haven't fully done my job yet. One more thing.